I’ll tell you something for free: surgery is a real pain in the arse. For me it’s more of a great buggering pain in the side. Kultzmann wanted to see me when I got back on the barge after having seen Felix’s ‘butcher’. He seemed more disappointed than angry, and luckily for us all he didn’t question me too closely about where I’d been. He seemed happy enough with a promise that it would happen again.
Zane Leopold left as we arrived and gave us some sort of medicin which Felix applied to me and Ada. It didn’t seem to do much for me, although it appeared to ease Ada’s pain. Lucky cow. The two of us spent the morning on our arses on the sundeck.
The medicine must have contained some sort of hallucinogen, because I kept seeing a pair of eyes in the sky – and no one else mentioned them. Sometimes I’d look up and think of my father, other times they resembled the holy images of Grimnir. The irises burned with judgement; the brows bristled with the promise of punishment. It must have been a hallucination. It must have been.
At about lunchtime, Albert asked me to accompany him on some errand. I didn’t much want to, but a dwarf is nothing without duty. I was preoccupied with the pain and the eyes and the possibility that I’ve truly been cured, so I don’t remember much about the day. I do remember some lad coming up to me, drawing a knife, Albert stepping in the way and getting stabbed for his trouble. I had Leo carry Albert back to the barge for Felix’s ministrations. Then I dealt with the would-be assassin. He was a young man, evidently just trying to make some money. I didn’t want to kill him, but one less potential enemy makes us that bit more secure.
Maglyn, back at the barge, revealed that the attacker’s documents revealed him to be a student who had been paid to kill me. The incident was a near-miss, I suppose, but one student with a knife was never going to overcome three armed men and a herald. It turned out the knife was poisoned. I say ‘it turned out’ – Abert wouldn’t shut up about it. I’ll buy him a drink at some point to say thank you
Later on, we went to Chez Louis, having been warned to block our ears. Something happened, but by the time we got inside it was all over. Josie had prevented the kidnapping of Countess Emmanuelle, although the captain of the city guard wasn’t so lucky.
After accompanying Lord Kultzmann safely back to the barge (there was some commotion dockside, but Albert dealt with it using his gift of the gab) we headed off to the seedier parts of Nuln to recover Frau Oppenheimer’s earrings, the location of which Albert had gained from some tavern wench who used to work at Chez Louis. The halfling seemed to want to go in there and just ask for the earrings, but when you’re dealing with criminals it’s probably best to be or at least seem a criminal yourself. I told him to pretend he had gambling debts and he needed to find – what was his name? – Yuri in order to pawn stuff he’d stolen. And the plan worked. I have mixed feeling about that: I would have liked to have knocked a few lumps out of Yuri and his tough, but in my condition the slightest hit could have felled me.
The following day saw Kultzmann taking the better part of the militia and going off about his lordly business. Herr Obst organised taking on supplies and trade goods. A halfling family turned up and started producing ridiculous quantities of apple pies. Oh, and Loren and Maglyn were married. On the plus side, I got to chop up a beastman that burst out of one of supply crates. We checked all the other crates and it seemed to be the only one. The look on the harbourmaster’s face when he saw it was quite amusing.
Albert managed to get himself nearly killed again after an assignation with another wench in a tavern. He got himself back to the barge pretty sharpish though, no harm done.
During the night there were some strange noises coming from the boat’s hull. I went over the side on a ladder and had a poke about with a spear. There was definitely some living thing down there. I had a glimpse of a human-like hand and I managed to wound it, but then it fled – or seemed to – taking the spear with it. As I thought about this during the day, I came to the conclusion that whatever it was might have done some damage to the barge’s hull – or might even be hiding there. This suspicion was reinforced when two of my men turned up dead, their throats slit.
After the city guard arrived to investigate the killings, I employed a shipwright to perform an inspection. The poor bastard had his leg ripped off by the creature hiding under the boat. I tried attacking it once I had the man safely back in his rowboat, but I was fighting blind. The guards reported that there were wet tracks by the windows in the forward cabins – evidently whatever it was had climbed in that way and attacked the men.
I had the lieutenant grant us admittance to a drydock across the river, and as the water drained out the guards attacked and killed a slimy aquatic humanoid that was clinging to the barge’s underside. Earlier on the lieutenant seemed to want to sweep the whole thing under the carpet, afraid of the taint – the rumour of a taint – of chaos. Poor fool; he should try living my life.
Kultzmann met us at the drydock, with his new possible-bride-to-be. Albert and I assigned the ex-Chez Louis woman – who had turned up begging for sanctuary – as the lady’s maid. And we went on our merry way to who knows what pleasant adventures.
